


Phantom pain.

by CaptainJawn



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drugs, Other, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 08:38:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJawn/pseuds/CaptainJawn
Summary: "Can one die of a broken heart, if one is quite sure one doesn't even have a heart?"





	

I'm staring at the ceiling, it's long after midnight. The texture of the wooden roof has already merged with the approaching darkness. I feel tired, I don't know for how long exactly, but my mind doesn't want to rest. It's nocturnal, and so am I.

I'm stretching my body and steeple my fingers under my chin. I'm breathing calmly and steadily, my body slowly relaxes, just twitching restlessly there and then.

My mind keeps wandering, to you, of course, where else. I think about texting you, nothing in particular, but you won't answer anyway; not today or tomorrow, but especially not right now. You made yourself very clear, there's nothing left to say. For you, at least. I accept your decision, but my thoughts keep drifting away, to you, again and again. I catch myself doing this, and I feel guilty. Thoughts are free, they say, but mine are not free of guilt, and I feel trapped in them.

Eventually everything becomes blurred, the drugs should have had kicked in hours ago. Perhaps I shouldn't have increased the dose that often. Still I'm drifting off, caught in a dozy and dreamless state, and _finally_ the pain in my chest is gone.

Actually there's nothing in there that could cause such a pain. Yet I black out, with only one question left in my head, the one final problem:

_Can one die of a broken heart, if one is quite certain one doesn't even have a heart?_

**Author's Note:**

> Free translation of one of my German short stories.


End file.
